Pretending to be someone else:
I am a middle-class mother living in the 1960's. I have a satisfactory marriage, but I hardly ever see my husband. All day, I clean, cook and care for my two children. My friends tell me this should be enough - that doing these things should fulfill me. They don't. For some women, they do, but not all women are the same. Does one say concerning a child, "You will be smart because you have brown hair." No! Indeed, rather they will make judgements about the child's IQ based on their behavior. Why is it, then, that judgements about women's capability are made based on her gender? Women are equal to men and they need to be treated likewise.
I have a library science degree and I worked hard for it. I remember painful hours of toil past midnight and how often I sacrificed time with friends in order to excel in my learning. Now that I am a housewife, the social image pushed at nearly all women, I don't have the time to put my degree to use, let alone read. It's true that it was my decision to marry and have children, but even if I hadn't, the road to success would have been much more difficult for myself, as a woman, than for a man. Schools like Harvard and Yale won't even consider women! The fact that this can be said, alone, show's just how much women are degraded in our schooling systems. I thought we were past the times when only boys went to school while girls stayed home completing tasks such as cooking and childcare. Now the same problem is present, but instead it has shown up after high school; men go to college and women often stay at home as caretakers and housekeepers.
Of the women who do receive careers, few are payed an appropriate wage. My friend Dorothy Green, who works night wages, gets payed half the amount of her fellow male employees of the same job. This scenario is not uncommon. The part that is the most unfair, however, is that if a woman were to risk asking for a higher wage, she would also be putting her source of income on the line. Women are far too easily fired and are consider dispensable in today's world of work.
I know a woman (she will remain unnamed for the sake of privacy) who is physically abused. Even though all of her friends know, including myself, the topic is awkwardly avoided. If it were instead her child that was being abused, we would all be so alarmed as to find help immediately. It disturbs me that our culture has grown numb to the evil of one human being hurting another who just so happens to be their wife. We all, her friends, recognize that it is wrong, but none of us are brave enough or wakened enough to the raw situation to do anything about it. It's time that the issue of domestic abuse get out of the house and out into the open.
Even if you are a man, the struggle for equality applies to you. If at this given time, women are undermined solely due to gender, is it not possible that you as well might one day be oppressed for this same reason? Even in the present, the issue of gender equality applies to you. When society constantly degrades someone, it is very hard to have any respect for them, and it is very hard to love someone you have no respect for. It very well may be that the present pecking order is having a negative impact on your marriage. Also possible, is the reality that it is giving you false pride in yourself for a reason as simple as the difference between an X and a Y chromosome. No one really wants to be or to be thought of as prideful. Besides, you will be seen as more of a man than ever if you decide to give women the chance they deserve.
How can you help? There are so many ways to be involved! One especially important way is to start treating other woman with respect - and yourself too, if you are a woman. This may include giving an able women a job, if you are an employer, or even, as a woman, giving up the meek attitude we women are taught to have. Exchange it for one of persistence and spirit. You can't expect anyone to agree with you if you don't even agree with yourself. Another way to help is to participate in marches or petitions. These are what really change the law. Lastly, expressing your views through art or the media is important. When we can integrate a certain opinion into our culture, it will in turn be accepted with more ease. The goal is not to turn just one facet of society in our direction, but to change the law, the hearts, and the minds of our nation.
For women, life is difficult. We cannot go to esteemed colleges and to go to college at all is looked down upon. In what jobs we can acquire, we are underpaid and often put in an unstable position as our job could be pulled out from under us at any given time. It is also to be observed that women are socially undermined, to the extent that many are abused with little consequence to the abuser. Because this prejudice is based off of something as menial as gender, it could just as easily happen to men. In order to bring the scales to an equal measure, women need to be treated with respect and supported by campaigns and media. We are all, men and women made in God's image. Let us respect God's image and put an end to segregation.
Being Myself Again:
Writing the above essay was somewhat hard because I am not especially concerned with women's rights. I do think women are equal to men and I am glad that I am privileged with many freedoms today in that area, but I do believe in general gender roles. I believe God made men and women differently and that is okay. Yes some women will defy these generalities, and the same goes for men, but what is saddening is when women are thought of as "simple-minded" or "sellouts" for wanting what is natural, to have a family and to let their husband be the main financial supporter. In the reverse, it was not too difficult to write because I used to be an extreme feminist. I had big dreams and a hard head against anyone with the slightest prejudice about women in general. Now, it just doesn't matter to me. God does; and I know how he sees me, so why should it matter how anyone else does?
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